I'm sorry, Lois, but it's not that simple. We'll make sure Chris apologizes to that little knob-tease. Thank you for bringing this to our attention, Principal Shepherd. he sent it to doesn't like him back, so she turned him in. It appears Chris sent an inappropriate photo of himself to one of his classmates. We've got a bit of a situation, which is why I've asked Officer Swanson to join us. Now let's just stop talking and have idiot actor s*x. You married me because I play one of the main bad guys in Blue Bloods. Hey, look, you didn't marry me because of my brains. Part of that great team of Rizzoli and Isles.
Maybe I could be my character from the show. Honey, I thought we could do a little role-playing tonight. Like that actress from Rizzoli & Isles and her husband do. There's a doubles tournament coming up, and I could really use a partner.Īll right, all right, I suppose we can make this work. What are you talking about? I'm a great tennis player.
Okay, so this place has hot women, morning booze and free vomit? Oh, yes, half the bathroom trash is thrown-up scrambled eggs. Wow, they allow drinking here at 10:30 in the morning? How'd you get all those cuts on your butt? Where frail old men come to weigh themselves in the nude. Well, I did just get this new phone from my dad. People who send their daughters to public high schools are basically asking for this. If you want to get a girl's attention, you text her a picture of your pen1s. Yeah, I wish I had the guts to talk to her.Ĭhris, no one talks to each other anymore. She bought feminine products at my dad's pharmacy, so you know she's up and running. And then you can use the rice to pretend someone wanted to marry you. If you put it in a bag of uncooked rice, it'll dry out. You know, Chris, you could probably salvage that phone. No, I took it in the shower 'cause I didn't know you could pause a game. It's probably because of all those apps you've been downloading. This one's a way for guys who enjoy sandwiches to connect. Oh, I'm meeting up with someone from my Grinder app. The house specialty is a half-chewed trout we yanked out of the river with our teeth. Oh, and just a heads up, the dog doesn't like men. Well, if the phone rings and we're not around, just take a message. Okay, well, I don't want any of that stuff.įine. We have Clear and Present Danger, Son of the Mask. Just a reminder, we ask that you not use the DVD player, but you can watch any of the VHSs. I went out of town for a little while, but I made the mistake of using this app called Bear B'n'B. Where have you been? I haven't seen you in days. Well, I just found out about these things called apps, so that's kind of all I do now. I'm trying to look at lamps I'll never buy. " Kelly: It's like kale is everywhere these days, am I right? Michael: unintelligible." No, I might also hit the treadmill and watch Kelly and Michael on mute with closed captioning. So, what? You're gonna play tennis all day? You know, I do have a life outside this house.įor example, I also write restaurant reviews for the newspaper under the name Hugh Cornwallis.
Since when do you belong to a racquet club? I don't understand anything you just said.
Joanne was supposed to drive me to the club, but she's having throat surgery. Gentlemen, I think I can help all three of you. Yes, I'm interested in cheating on my wife in Las Vegas. Well, I've got to go to church, but I don't have time to change from the rodeo.Įxcuse me, I thought you were helping me find a look that'll let me cling to my youth in my 40s. Like the guy who invented wearing a sport jacket with jeans. They're little programs you use on your phone while driving. It recognizes songs and tells you their names. Hey, Cleveland, how'd you do that with your phone? It says "'Around the World' by Daft Punk." Peter, I'm gonna punch you with this beer mug till I'm holding just the handle! Cacciatore down on Mulberry Street.Īnd that's all I'm gonna say about those two. He's talking about going all around the world 'cause this Anthony fella, he's moving out. You know, when they recorded "Movin' Out," someone left the studio doors open, and that's why, at the end, you hear that car sound. It's "Anthony's Song," parentheses, "Movin' Out."įirst of all, it's "Movin' Out," parentheses, "Anthony's Song."Īnd second of all, this is 100% not Billy Joel!
Oh, cool, somebody put Billy Joel on the jukebox. ("Around the World" by Daft Punk playing) ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪